my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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