dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
