you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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