I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
