It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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