That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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