Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I intend to get homeless drunk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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