She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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