well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
