OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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