We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
