Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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