And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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