And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
