Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize