it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
