good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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