I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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