I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
