god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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