He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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