Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
