I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
