Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
