I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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