the condom got lost in my hair
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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