C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
