We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
