another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He felt like a one man threesome
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
