Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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