Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
