Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We have started to decorate penises.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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