i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
