i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
