it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
