idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
