Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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