Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
