David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
