and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
