i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
