Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
