i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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