Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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