the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
