If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
