Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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