im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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