I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She bit a glass in half.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
