Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she pinky promised me she was 18
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
