I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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