Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
