Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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