Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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