I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
