dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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