It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
