stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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