yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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