its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
