margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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