hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
